Even when they are adults, on their own, we still fret and want to fix whatever is wrong. I'm a mom to a man who has a child of his own...but still his mom. And I want to fix it for him.
It's not about smothering, it's about knowing the path he's about to take and I want to keep him from harm. Is that so wrong? Of course not. I've been fighting for him since I found out I was pregnant over 30 years ago. After losing a child to a coerced abortion in the 70's, I fought for him. You see, my mother tried to force me to abort again and this time, I SAID NO. Even though I had NO plan, NO resources, NO help. I fought anyway.
And I'm still fighting for him, and I will until either my last breath or his. Only death can separate us.
When I see him hurting, I hurt for him even if his choices weren't so good. He's my kid, my son...my baby.
After having him for a few weeks to help him get back on his feet, I know I have to give him back. I don't want to. I hate doing it. I want to stand between him and life on the other side of my front door to shield him. But I know I have to give him back...right into the hands of what hurt him.
I have to trust God with every step he's taken in his life and in his future. God wants him to be victorious, not to fail, and glorify Him in the process. I know this. I mean, I REALLY KNOW THIS. But it does't make it any easier to let him go.
My son was a crisis pregnancy that did not succumb to an abortion. He was meant to be here, he was known to God before the very foundation of the world, and He gave him to me.
God gave me this incredible kid because even in His infinite wisdom, even though He created the entire world and universe, EVEN THOUGH He is GOD, He trusted ME....ME....to entrust this incredible life to birth, to love, to instruct, to be there in the worst of it, no matter what.
God trusted ME. I am forever grateful to a Holy God that would look at a mess like me and determine I am good enough to raise a child I was blessed with regardless of the circumstances.
There are no orphans of God. And not one of us are fatherless because we have a Father in Heaven who watches over....even me.
It's not about smothering, it's about knowing the path he's about to take and I want to keep him from harm. Is that so wrong? Of course not. I've been fighting for him since I found out I was pregnant over 30 years ago. After losing a child to a coerced abortion in the 70's, I fought for him. You see, my mother tried to force me to abort again and this time, I SAID NO. Even though I had NO plan, NO resources, NO help. I fought anyway.
And I'm still fighting for him, and I will until either my last breath or his. Only death can separate us.
When I see him hurting, I hurt for him even if his choices weren't so good. He's my kid, my son...my baby.
I have to trust God with every step he's taken in his life and in his future. God wants him to be victorious, not to fail, and glorify Him in the process. I know this. I mean, I REALLY KNOW THIS. But it does't make it any easier to let him go.
My son was a crisis pregnancy that did not succumb to an abortion. He was meant to be here, he was known to God before the very foundation of the world, and He gave him to me.
God gave me this incredible kid because even in His infinite wisdom, even though He created the entire world and universe, EVEN THOUGH He is GOD, He trusted ME....ME....to entrust this incredible life to birth, to love, to instruct, to be there in the worst of it, no matter what.
God trusted ME. I am forever grateful to a Holy God that would look at a mess like me and determine I am good enough to raise a child I was blessed with regardless of the circumstances.
There are no orphans of God. And not one of us are fatherless because we have a Father in Heaven who watches over....even me.
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