...and she cries.

Do you know who Joey Feek is? I did not until very recently. I saw a little family who love Jesus. Joey and Rory are Christian entertainers. And she has stage four cancer. Their story is here.

I am helpless. And in the end, alone. When I die, no one comes with me. I can't imagine staring at that empty side of our bed. Now and then I'll find myself worrying about losing him. My fear can outdo me, but God has other plans. His plan of Salvation is my remedy, my strength, my rock. If it were not for Him, for Jesus, I would drown.

There are so many stories of terminally ill people, they grasp for one extra shred of LIFE, one more DAY, while women end the lives of their children for the crime of being unplanned. Life for one is immeasurable and priceless, for others it's 'choice'.

So I come home after seeing women march their unborn children into a modern day Auschwitz while another mother struggles to stay alive to care for her family. I wonder how many unborn babies died today, at the hands of people who are chosen by God to protect them. The disparity is more than I can bear. On days like this I try to drown out what I've seen all morning. I realize how human I really am. SO, more noise, the better - because I cry.

But don't despair, I get it! Tragedy will strengthen another's faith. People have this all wrong! Whatever God has allowed will glorify Him no matter what we try to do. My abortion in 1978 was a TRAGEDY; well, it still is. But God took that and turned it around, saw others that need to be strengthened, and used this horrible thing to build them up.

It is tragic that this young woman may die, and it is a tragedy that over 3500 unborn babies will die that very same day. Don't see through the eyes of your humanity - instead, try to see through His eyes.

 "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Winter is coming, the season is almost over. And the harvest will be soon.

As I watch the season coming to a close, all of the evidence is there. The days become pale, trees sway in the wind grasping to its last leaf, gardens get thin and tired. Even the air smells different and the sunshine gets weary.

Winter is coming, the season's almost over.

In each of my seasons I see blunders, conquering feats, blessed quiet, and some increase. Every garden gets a little growth, you would think. Even with the best of intentions and love, sometimes that garden just will not thrive. I thought I could farm this wee bit of land that was given to me. I tried to raise the most beautiful garden the best I knew how, I prayed for guidance, I hoped for the right amount of rain. To my utter bewilderment, my wee farm will not thrive.

Then, it's time to get my hands into the soil again. Winter is coming, the season is almost over.

One day my wee bit of land was taken away. The more I tried to till and fertilize, the worse it got. I thought I was a failure. I believed that all the love I ever had just would not thrive in my wee farm, or anywhere else.  I cried at the disbelief of it all. And one day I realized it was never mine, I was only borrowing it until mine was ready.

Inconsolable. Still prideful. But winter is coming, the season is almost over.

I miss that bit of land. I loved it more than it loved me. I tried hard, I really did. But one day, when I would have never expected it, I was given another wee farm to till. It was different than the first, it seemed much harder to work and love. I barely liked it. So I asked the Giver of the land, "Why me? What can I do? This land is hard and barren." All the Giver told me to do is to keep tilling, keep planting, and there will be increase.

Even so, winter is coming, the season is almost over. And the harvest will be soon.

As hard as this soil is, I continue to till and furrow the rows, to plant the seed, and wait for rain. I'm thankful the Giver of this land loves me so much that He trusts me with this wee bit of a farm. It is mine for a time, the seasons are almost over, and the harvest is very soon.

Don't lose heart, do not be grieved. Till your land, make your furrows, plant the seed. And the harvest will be great.

v35 Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. v36 But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd. v37 Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. v38 Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.” Matthew 9:35-38

Praying the Distance

I'm watching a church service this morning and it's time to pray for the sick. I remember standing in for members of our families for healing all the time. Somehow I kept  it up, though I saw no results with my human eyes. Maybe their healing is on the other side, maybe they will get the miracle they hope for.

But what the church doesn't see anymore are miracle healings; people stacked up at the altar praying through, waiting, expecting, sometimes for HOURS and DAYS. I've read books and stories of these miracles; blind eyes opened, deaf ears hear, a shorter limb lengthened, even the dead brought back to life.

Why doesn't this happen anymore?

Prayer is like running. When you start running, it's not so bad. You start to huff and puff a bit, time goes very slow, after a while your lungs feel like concrete and that searing pain in your side is crippling. Most people stop running. They just stand there knowing they have to get home, at the very least. Some people start walking instead. But very few run through the pain.

The pain is there to make us stop, turn around, go back, go no further. But runners know that when the pain starts, it's just the beginning of a long, long run that has no pain, only results, because the pain does stop.

We don't 'see' results when we pray because no one goes the distance, prays through the hard part with expectation. Yes, we petition the Lord, but we do not run the distance with prayer. Imagine the results, the MIRACLES, if we did!

Faith. Have faith, pray much, expect more!

“Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father." John 14:12

It May be Summer, but Winter's coming.

It's nearly harvest time. Fruit trees are heavy with their sweet burden, soon the fields will be orange with pumpkins and other Autumn goodness. Crickets and cicadas are wonderfully loud. The days are just a bit shorter. God is working, He is changing things bringing our attention to the bounty to come.

Is Winter coming? Yes. But why are we so disappointed of its coming? Have you ever noticed the bright blue of the winter sky? And when every leaf has fallen to protect the soil for next spring, the browns and bronze and copper all glinting against the blue sky is glorious! Add a puff of an occasional white cloud to bring it all together. Yes, I can smell the snow coming.

Yet the gloominess will overcome now and then, the snow will fall. But sprinkle a little of the Plan of God on it and you'll see the beauty I see. He is always working, He is always there. Even the snug blanket that God puts on the earth does not keep Him from us!

With God, everything does work together with a well thought out and orchestrated plan that we cannot imagine or understand. But there is comfort and joy in knowing He is still there, even in the Winter of our days.

Yes, I'll miss the green grass and warm summer rain. I may even lament it a bit. But knowing that a new bounty is a grasp away renews my Faith and my resolve.

I'll miss you, Summer, but the Autumn of my days are here and I am looking forward to the Winter.

"Say not ye, There are yet four months, and then cometh harvest? behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest." John 4:35

Thoughts along the sidewalk of LIFE.

Today, a fellow prolife sidewalk advocate told a story of a new proabort 'deathscort' at an abortuary near his home. This 'man' called himself a non-denominational CHRISTIAN. Okay...that made me a bit SICK, but the reason - the excuse - this person is a clinic 'escort' is "...if there was no abortion facility available, two would die instead of one".

There is a certain insanity with sin, but leading the innocent into the fiery furnace is abominable. What this so-called Christian deathscort does to the unborn and their mothers is not one bit different than what ISIS does OR what Hitler did. There are so many people who really believe that they are 'making a difference' by doing this thing. God is not pleased and He does NOT forget. 

A few months ago, we went to a hearing for a local late-term abortionist and saw 'women' from NARAL sporting signs that actually said PROCHOICE CHRISTIAN, among other things. My dear reader: THERE IS NO SUCH THING. You are either prochoice or a Christian. Period.

On the sidewalk this week, I saw a young woman who had a brand new car, still had the temp tags on it...and getting an abortion. She chose her new car over her own child. Now, if women did that AFTER the baby is born, it's a felony punishable by many years of prison. However, today, as long as the baby isn't born yet, no problem. 

Moms bring daughters all the time. These girls look lonely and totally uninformed of what is about to happen. And their moms really don't think they have anyone to answer to after their daughter's abortion. All they see is the money saved from buying diapers, formula, clothes, carseats, strollers, etc. An unborn child is a commodity, a non person who died so she can keep herself in long nails and skinny jeans. 

I assure you, that after nearly 38 years, I will never forget that my mother forced me to kill my baby FOR HER. She has never shown remorse or even acknowledged the abortion of her very own grandchild. All of these moms who bring daughters have no responsibility in this at all. As I walk the sidewalk, pray and observe, this is still at the very surface of my soul, a grim reminder of this insanity of sin that is perpetrated at least 3500 times per day in AMERICA. 

Even as a #Prolife Activist, birthdays ain't my thing.

I'll clarify: I don't celebrate my birthday. Ever.

"But you are a prolifer," you're thinking. Yes, I am, probably the most obnoxious and out loud one you'll find. And it's not an 'age' thing or anything like that. It's that I was privileged TO be born while millions and millions have not.

My husband and I have literally fought over this. He wants to celebrate my birth with all the pomp and circumstance he can muster. He's the best guy ever. He is so precious to me.

Maybe I'm wrong. It's not a martyr thing, I assure you. I don't like attention. I don't like making a day 'mine', I hate that even on this day, the anniversary of my birth, over 3500 babies will lose their lives and never have their birthdays. Ever.

I wish I could explain this better. But just know that I thank God every day for my great health and the many blessings He has given me, despite my occasional disobedience. I thank God that He gave ME His only Son to save me from an eternal HELL.

Seriously, what more could I possibly want or need? I'd rather see that all unborn children be given the chance to have their first birthday; a life with a plan known to God and peace. Especially peace.

Because Mom ALWAYS liked you best.

There are a myriad of reasons why women abort. Probably the biggest reason is that the pregnant woman has been reduced to the bottom of a pile of people who will always be more important than her.

Let me explain, I hope.

I am the oldest of three. How many time have you heard how it's all about the oldest child or the 'baby' of the family? All the time we hear this. BUT...it's not true. I'll spare you all the details, but to give a quick synopsis, I've played second best since the beginning of my 50+ years on this earth.

Now, to be fair, I'm not one to live like I'm dying. I am careful, I think things through, I don't put others into harms way. When I in the fourth grade at an inner city school, a boy was very mean to me all the time. He finally slapped me and the teacher found out about it. LITERALLY, she grabbed him and put him up against a wall, held him there, and told me to hit him as hard as I can. Can you even imagine this in school today? Might solve some things....anyway, I stared at him for what seemed like FOREVER. I never hit him. I really wanted to - he deserved it - but my mind was in a flurry of what the ramifications would be if I did. I did not believe outcome could have supported the action. But the very cool thing was that someone, my teacher, actually stood up for ME. I had no idea how to handle that.

That's my life. Overthinking everything. Scared to death of everyone. Because I was always second best, if that, and had to justify and struggle for everything. I never wanted to hurt people because I hated getting hurt so much. Even being the oldest kid, I was ignored until I was needed for something, you know...like helping to pay rent or whatever.

So I disappeared, kind of. You know, wallflower kind of thing, and realized no one noticed. I'll just do my 'thing', whatever that is [was], no one cares.

Until I got pregnant.

I had NO idea how many lives I RUINED by getting pregnant. Or, at least that's what the general consensus was. I mean, little ol' me just kind of blended with the wallpaper until I got pregnant. My baby would be the source of everyone's ills and ails, the reason why we will be homeless, and probably keep us from world peace.

Just one tiny baby unleashed just how inhuman my entire family really is, even to this day. I was seeing this family naked for the first time and it wasn't pretty. But all of the sudden, I got all of the attention...as long as I get an abortion.

So, being second best, if THAT, made everyone else's opinion about my baby more important than mine...you know, the baby's mother. I was bullied, I was shunned, I was humiliated, I was ridiculed, I was hated. Everyone knew what was best for me and what would ultimately be the demise of my precious baby.

SO - the moral of the story is this: All I ever wanted was dignity, respect and love. And all I got was an abortion. When you hear of women aborting their babies, remember who really makes the decision to abort - VERY seldom is it her 'choice', but the 'choice' of everyone she thought she could trust. Most post-abortive moms find out the hard way who's second best...if that.

Sometimes I really wished I hit that kid in the fourth grade, learn to stand up for myself since no one would. Maybe that would have changed my doormat second best status? I guess we'll never know.

Not a great week for Constitutional Rights and Freedoms.

So much happening lately; too much, really. I wonder at times what much go through God's mind when He sees the unquenchable hatred for Him. Jesus died for each one of us and gets ridiculed and mocked for it by blood thirsty homosexuals partying in the streets for gay marriage.

It's interesting how gay marriage came WAY after IVF. The argument was that a gay 'union' cannot procreate, then cannot sustain the earth's population. But as 'science' continued to be as God, it now resembles what the godless wants: To create life, to BE God. Pandora's Box pretty much puked up everything.

The Supreme Court has made it's way to making a new federal state, much like a 51st state, one that will rule the nation. SCOTUS is much like God haters who try to dispel him, Constitutional laws made and were once protected are now just toilet paper to these hags that are appointed, not elected BY THE PEOPLE....you know, to protect the people....from them.

America is becoming what England was: Patriarchal and persecutors. Even after all the war and the blood shed, the Constitution has become worthless as the SCOTUS continues its rampage like Godzilla over Tokyo.

Ironclad prolife laws in Texas are overturned putting unborn Texans at risk of death and dismemberment, a Ten Commandments monument in Oklahoma is suddenly unconstitutional, most abortion 'clinics' are protected even though settled state law says no, "Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that "Mississippi may not shift its obligation with respect to the established constitutional rights of its citizens to another state". And add trying to deface and erase American Civil War History as if it never happened.

Loud. Audible. Sigh.

State sovereignty. Tenth Amendment. This was to protect the people, not become some kind of socialistic dynasty. And then it seems as if this is all lulling us asleep while Greece is about to default and ISIS threatening Fourth of July celebrations.

Christians have to abide by man's law but we are supposed to TRUST GOD. He is our salvation, not the SCOTUS. Just like all of us, even they have to answer to God for their actions.

 

Even so, Joy Comes in the Mourning.

I went to an Infant Loss Memorial recently. It's for the loss of children through miscarriage, abortion, perinatal, SIDS, etc. It was a beautiful ceremony, Christ-centered, tactful, loving, and safe. It was a good place to mourn our children, to have fellowship with other moms, to tell stories, share testimonies, offer hope.

During the memorial, we were offered a candle to light for our children, to offer them to God if they had not yet done so. I remember thinking there isn't enough candles for my losses, my children. Yes, it's symbolic. Some people need that, the ceremony. And tragically, some parents have not 'offered' their child to the Lord. It's truly a process just for the parents because God has already accepted them. But we need to know He is with them, we need that comfort.

I was victimized by abortion and suffered miscarriages. Women told stories of their children and loss. It was wonderful to see married couples there because sometimes husbands don't want to face the loss or doesn't believe there really was a loss. To some, people just die. For others, there just isn't enough candles.

"For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with Him." ~ 1Thessalonians 4:14

While I have loss, and it was tragic, others walk a harder walk: "...while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us," [Rom 5:8]. Us...each and every one of US.

I thank God my hope is in Jesus, because sometimes...there just isn't enough candles.

The Pastor's Desk | The Duggars, Liberal Hypocrisy, Sin & Repentance

Is the Duggar situation an isolated issue that has never happened to other families OR is everyone piling on the Duggars just because they are Christians? After seeing the videos, Michelle and Jim Bob did much more than the average parent does in situations like this. They really went the extra mile because they knew this would affect the adult Josh and their girls would be someday.

Josh was homeschooled, essentially isolated from the world and still Satan sought him out to do this despicable thing. Do you think for one minute that all children left alone in bedrooms, playhouses, or basements haven't at least thought of sexual exploration? Agreed, not all children do these things but it only takes one, once.

There are many things to address. First, this is a 'celebrity' Christian family that has protected their children FROM the world and never said one time that they are perfect and without sin. Second, these incidents were addressed and action taken where in most families, that does NOT happen. Third, because of their relationship with Jesus Christ, everyone involved understood true forgiveness of sin and repentance. Fourth, because God is a forgiving God who gives us a myriad of second chances, only the world would judge what God has already forgiven. It is never up to any individual to second guess what God has already taken care of.

The liberals who are judging the Duggars are no different than the religious who put Jesus Christ on a Cross to die PUBLICLY. They forget that their darling Lena Dunham did great harm to her own baby sister, wrote about it, spoke about it; Dunham is the darling of the Liberal Left? Just how huge is that LOG in your eye?

Why sexual sin? Satan does NOT make children believe they should....rob banks, for instance. Since God hates sexual sin outside of  the  covenant of traditional marriage. Satan uses sex to tear families and marriages apart. Satan uses sex to make people believe they are the wrong sex. Satan uses sex to twist a person's mind to believe they are homosexual. Satan uses sex to make men and women predators. Satan uses sex to open a young child's eyes to 'exploration', and in many instances, some parents do not discourage it calling it 'normal'. There is NOTHING normal about a child exploring anything sexual or an adult saying it's okay.

Coming from a Pastor's perspective, I think it's very interesting that Satan attacked the eldest son. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ and read the Bible, you know that the oldest son has a 'birthright'. In the Bible, Satan knows this and uses the oldest son to plague the family; for example the story or Jacob and Esau. Josh Duggar is the oldest son of the Duggar family who was following in his father's footsteps from business, family and Christian perspectives.

Children are coerced by other children, television, and the internet to inappropriately touch each other because of 'curiosity'. Sex is OUT LOUD in the world today, can you imagine what it's like for the average child that is NOT protected from the world? Every minute of every day kids are bombarded with sex in everything, from music to movies to friends to school. Have you looked at the clothes designed for girls under 5? Swimsuits? It's as if our girls are being set up to fail before they set foot in school for the very first time.

Looking inward: How dare ANYONE say anything about another's sin when they don't look at their own? Are YOU without sin? Then the question is, how long must a person be the accused for YOU to be satisfied?

Jesus said 'Go and sin no more' to the woman CAUGHT IN THE VERY ACT of adultery. We agree that what happened in the Duggar household was detestable, obviously. But like it or not, it's forgivable. God does not define Josh Duggar as a predator, He sees him as forgiven and repentant. If you do not or will not, then you need a little talk with Jesus.

As a Former Little Girl & Teenager, I Object.

Modesty, purity, dignity, parenting, grandparenting. Eyes wide open here. My husband says that I'm more 'for' the boys than I am the girls. I suppose there is some truth to that because I was a complete failure as a young girl and teenager and adult.

Total. Complete. Failure. Eyes wide SHUT.

This is probably why I'm harder on our girls. If girls made better decisions about their close friends and boys when they're young, they would likely continue to be great decision makers when they are older. The rule of thumb of boys is WAIT WAIT WAIT. And then WAIT some more. And when it comes to a girl's close friends, look at their lives and mistakes before you trust them. I've had more heartbreak from a 'friend' that I trusted; right or wrong, girls tend to trust friends more than family.

As a former little girl, I remember what my dad taught me by example; date has to meet Dad, get picked up at the front door, doors opened for us, respect. But in my case, that all slipped away when I went to live with my mom. How ironic, I know. But she taught me nothing; her example was the love of a man's money, not his ability to love and protect and respect forever in the covenant of marriage.

Then, when our girls, or even all girls in general, make one bad decision after another, it's angering. I see them making the same mistakes I made, doing stupid things. I wasted so much of my life trusting bad men and bad friends; seeing them do the same is like it's happening to me all over again. I hate that feeling of helplessness, I hate that for them. I know where it will lead.

Perhaps I put up with more from the boys because I'm trying to teach them not to do what men did to me and other women I've known. I want them to grow up to be fabulous husbands and fathers that their girls can depend on for her entire life.

I love all of the kids and grandkids but I don't have much patience for moral mistakes, sin. It'll shorten their lives rather than give them the abundant life promised if we follow Christ. My life changed after I met Jesus. He showed me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, in His image, part of His plan, and has my life in the very palm of His hand.

Girls: If I can tell you one thing, I would tell you all to stay off of social media. All of it. I cannot imagine how messed up our teen years would have been with REAL TIME bullying and men looking for everything other than 'forever'. Be very wary of temptation, it is not from God and will not love you back.

Boys: Stop it now. Seriously. If you can't be her 'forever', then let her go so her 'forever' can find her.

As a former little girl, teenager, friend - I OBJECT to inappropriate relationships and disrespect of ourselves and our girls.

Better women make better men.

Deep in the Heart of Texas, Life still happens.

So much, not enough, out to lunch is what this week seems like. People grab at you, family spurns you, even the weather wouldn't cooperate. It's been gray and rainy the entire time. I know that I know THAT I KNOW to listen to God, and we should have waited a week.

But that's okay. The storm was going to be literally waiting for us. Every. Day.

It's a hard thing, being a parent to adult kids. If there is one thing I can tell you that has changed since I was young is this: RESPECT. No one, not one kid, has any respect for their parents and grandparents anymore. We've found out the hard way that money does not buy their respect, but they sure don't mind taking it - money AND respect....on their terms.

Where did we go wrong? I don't think WE did anything to deserve this. Adult kids and teen kids feel the freedom to tell us to go **** ourselves, tell us their lousy life is all our fault, while they are all stuck in a life they created for themselves that we cannot change for them. Sometimes I feel helpless, but not paralyzed, much to their chagrin.

I think we need to take a break from their assaults but my heart and God wants me to continue to reach out. And we will. Until our dying breath....whether they like it or not.

Sometimes the phone doesn't ring...even on Mother's Day.

And that's okay. When adult kids become...adults...they do what they 'want', or in this case, NOT what I want.

And that's okay. Because they haven't learned that parents have an expiration date, adult kids don't have the ability to appreciate the time we have left, whatever that is.

And that's okay. As time goes on, I remind myself and other parents that respect should come with love but be aware that it may not. Yes, the kids love their parents but have little respect for our commitment to them even into their adult years.

And that's okay. Since we do not know what day will be our last, parents try to jostle the adult kid's memories of important dates to US, like birthdays and anniversaries so that we can pass that mantle onto them. After all, someone has to continue all of the traditions that even they have grown accustomed to. But they forgot, life got in the way; most of those traditions have gone to the wayside, long forgotten.

And that's okay. Do we have regret? No, disappointment maybe, but not regret. When we have these wonderfully squirmy smooshy cooing babies we don't think about how they will ignore us, or even worse, hate us when they become adults. Somehow, it's all our fault.

And that's okay. Because I know that for some unreasonable reason to me, God gave us children. GAVE. He trusted us, me, to raise a child He created. And all we have to do is love them, raise them in they way they should go, and believe God for even the littlest of things.

And through it all, I'm so thankful to God for the privilege of being the woman chosen to be the mother of these children. And, that's okay.

Thanks for NOT Aborting Me: The New Mother's Day

DEAR MOTHER'S DAY: Not a fan. I do not remember loving moments, I do not remember vacations, I do not have those memories that other's have of their moms. No picnics, no campy Olan Mills family portraits, no adventures in the park, nothing. As an adult there were no chats over coffee, no lunches or cookie baking for holidays. It was all survival, all the time.

If abortion had been legal in the early 60's, I firmly believe that I had an 100% chance of dying an abortion death. In other words, I knew she had the propensity to abort because I have an aborted sibling.

The reason why she would have aborted is exactly the same reason women abort today: lousy husband/boyfriend, finances, depression, paralyzing fear, isolation, NO family help, etc. The only thing that's changed for the last hundred years is the law. Women have to trust in something, why not a cold, evil law since everyone else bailed on you.

Abortion is evil. Abortion is not reproductive healthcare, abortion does not promote life no matter how much proaborts tell the moms that abortion will give them their life back.

Abortion takes lives, does not GIVE life. Abortion won't make you a better mother later. It's all a damnable lie.

No, I'm not a fan of Mother's Day because as moms we should look inward to do better rather than being propped up on a throne for a day. Unborn children are dying all around us while moms get their brunch or breakfast in bed or bouquet of flowers. Even on Mother's Day, thousands of unborn children will die because their moms believed the lie of abortion.

Abortion will NEVER:

• Pay the rent
• Buy groceries
• Put gas in the car
• Give you a better job
• Help you to go to school or graduate 
• Make your spouse love you
• Make your friends and family accept you
• Fill up your bank account
• LOVE. Abortion does not love you or your circumstances. Ever.

I wish my mom didn't believe the lie of abortion. She passed on a generational sin of abortion, an indifference to life, to her surviving children and grandchildren. Mourning the loss doesn't change what happened, but it can change the future. Tell a mom that they have been chosen by God to have this child even in the worst of times. It has been a privilege to be chosen by Him to nurture a child that He has entrusted to me, and for that I am forever grateful.

....and then there's the day AFTER Mother's Day.

Mother's Day is not what it is for everyone else.

I have learned a long time ago not to wait by my telephone on Mother's Day. Sometimes it rings, sometimes it doesn't. This is why my husband and I usually take a day trip that day. We really love to get out and drive the countryside, see and hear God's creation, give Glory to God....because sometimes, my telephone doesn't ring.

It doesn't ring for everyone else, either. I know too many moms who have been rejected by their adult kids. I have grown accustomed to the disrespect and hate, I can't change them. So, I have to change ME.

Parents have to not look back but blaze a trail FORWARD. If we are forgiven by God, then who are they to keep us in THEIR subjection? That, my friends, is being held hostage. And I won't live like that....anymore.

There are other victims of Mother's Day: post abortive women, women who miscarried, kids in foster care, adopted kids, the brokenhearted, etc. A victim stays a victim until you escape. A holiday does not identify who we are to God. We are His, we are forgiven; if our kids can't forgive, then too bad. I can't live in the memory they have for us for the rest of THEIR lives.

My husband honors me for Mother's Day. He always has. He knows that this day is really about MOM, they one who gave life, the one who loves unconditionally, the one who is there when she's not needed or wanted. I have made mistakes just like every other person in the world, but I certainly don't need a holiday to remind me of it.

Happy Day After Mother's Day:

v16 Thus says the Lord:

“Refrain your voice from weeping,
And your eyes from tears;
For your work shall be rewarded, says the Lord,
And they shall come back from the land of the enemy.
v17 There is hope in your future, says the Lord,
That your children shall come back to their own border." Jeremiah 31:15-17

Is Bullying the New Black?

Hate is a strong word, why are we forced to use it so much? We are so sanctimonious and smug as humans, constantly we drone on about me me me. Sometimes I think it's because we are tying to protect ourselves, other times it is to replenish what another has taken away so barbarically.

All this talk about bullying in the world today, is this the new 'hate' word?

Bullying has been around way longer than the agendas that rely on it today. It's not a victimless crime, it does not go without grief.

When I was a kid, I had the audacity to be too skinny, too tall, too pale, too brown headed which of course meant that I had to be the target of every bully at every school for any reason. Every day I dealt with it. I wasn't black/asian/hispanic, I wasn't gay...then how in the world could I have had the gall to be bullied when the protected classes weren't? Interesting. Every day I was called names. Every day I was told I was getting beaten up. Every day I walked home in total fear. Every day I wanted to die for the crime of being bullied. EVERY. DAY.

Hated. Plain and simple, I was hated for not being something else. And I had no special interest groups to protect me, I had no government offices or Senators willing to take my case to the Supreme Court; in fact the ACLU had absolutely no interest in my case. Why? Because of my so-called 'white privilege' which somehow miraculously gave me assumed protection that I never had. What a LIE. This is why I don't buy into protecting only certain kids from being bullied at schools; no one can hide. I've made that crystal clear. Schools today are training teachers and counselors to look past bullied kids like me and be like body armor to minority kids and gay kids.

So much for so-called 'white privilege'. Recently, most of the kids that have committed suicide for being bullied are average white kids. These days, I can't fathom how horrific it is with social media. Now everything is in real time, just a click away. Destroy someone's life...because you can.

The Bible says hate is akin to murder [1John 3:15]. In the hearts of bullies, I was murdered for the crime of being NOT them. When I was being bullied back then, I cried. Today, I PRAY. It's easy to hate back, but not wise or Godly. The hard thing to do is give them the other cheek [Matt 5:39].

Ultimately we all have to answer to God for what we have done or NOT done. Life is about pressing on, dying well, knowing eternity is really forever, and at least trying to make things better so others will try to love FIRST.

If you are being bullied, remember that GOD LOVE YOU! And tell someone! And if they don't do anything, TELL SOMEONE ELSE. And keep telling until it stops.

The Parent Ship in the Storm When LIFE Happens

As a Christian and a parent, I have learned to trust God with the big stuff, and not so big stuff. I don't nag, but I will answer a question as I feel God would want me to and back it up with love and kindness. My opinion may not be popular, but then again, I am their parent first.

I'm a results person. In other words, we are HERE now [like those maps in amusement parks say] and after going through getting HERE, only results matter. The way HERE was tumultuous and contrary to my better judgement for them, made me lose sleep, prayed and prayed - and I'm sure that the way HERE made me a special kind of insane. So the fact that I'll have a Godly answer is kind of impressive, especially since I feel like I've aged about 100 years over it.

Complaining now is not only counterproductive, but makes the situation take two steps back when we need a miracle; and miracles only go forward.

Having adult kids is HARD. Did I say it was HARD?? After taking one of my adult kids to the doctor recently, I got this revelation that I'm just his ride there. In other words, the doctor has no legal reason to tell me anything about his appointment. I just sat there quite befuddled and a little hurt. The kids are adults, have children of their own. What's a mom of adults kids to do in these situations? I'll let you know when I find out ;)

God has made a way with us to take care of our adult kids for prolonged periods of time to nurture, mend, love, and just plain help when life gets really HARD. A recent article said that 1 in 6 adults have moved back 'home'. I think it's much more than that. This world had made it very hard for kids to be on their own today. Rent is astronomical, pay is getting lower and lower, student debt is insane, good jobs are sparse, and if they are single parents, quadruple the hardship...at least.

And even though God has made a way for us to be that blessing - the ship in the storm - it may not be so to kids who won't let us. We nearly bought a house to do this, just to be told no at the very last minute. Or they leave too early and unprepared and find themselves broke or homeless, or both AGAIN. They always need money yesterday, no one plans for anything, so when I'm left holding the bag I usually don't have much to work with. I have to start over for them, get back to the basics of life.

I just wish that they wouldn't let it get so bad that it gets this HARD.

Sometimes, that horse won't drink no matter how you try. So, what's a parent to do? TRUST GOD. KEEP TRUSTING GOD. DID I MENTION TO TRUST GOD?

Oh, and keep a light on. You never know when the phone or doorbell will ring.

A Mom is a Mom FOREVER.

Even when they are adults, on their own, we still fret and want to fix whatever is wrong. I'm a mom to a man who has a child of his own...but still his mom. And I want to fix it for him.

It's not about smothering, it's about knowing the path he's about to take and I want to keep him from harm. Is that so wrong? Of course not. I've been fighting for him since I found out I was pregnant over 30 years ago. After losing a child to a coerced abortion in the 70's, I fought for him. You see, my mother tried to force me to abort again and this time, I SAID NO. Even though I had NO plan, NO resources, NO help. I fought anyway.

And I'm still fighting for him, and I will until either my last breath or his. Only death can separate us.

When I see him hurting, I hurt for him even if his choices weren't so good. He's my kid, my son...my baby.

After having him for a few weeks to help him get back on his feet, I know I have to give him back. I don't want to. I hate doing it. I want to stand between him and life on the other side of my front door to shield him. But I know I have to give him back...right into the hands of what hurt him.

I have to trust God with every step he's taken in his life and in his future. God wants him to be victorious, not to fail, and glorify Him in the process. I know this. I mean, I REALLY KNOW THIS. But it does't make it any easier to let him go.

My son was a crisis pregnancy that did not succumb to an abortion. He was meant to be here, he was known to God before the very foundation of the world, and He gave him to me.

God gave me this incredible kid because even in His infinite wisdom, even though He created the entire world and universe, EVEN THOUGH He is GOD, He trusted ME....ME....to entrust this incredible life to birth, to love, to instruct, to be there in the worst of it, no matter what.

God trusted ME. I am forever grateful to a Holy God that would look at a mess like me and determine I am good enough to raise a child I was blessed with regardless of the circumstances.

There are no orphans of God. And not one of us are fatherless because we have a Father in Heaven who watches over....even me. 

I'm a Mom Again!

After 15 years of an off and on relationship with my oldest son, he has come back home. Literally.

While on his journey since he's been 18, he has become a heroin addict. Full. Blown. Addict. It was hard to hear, although I knew a little bit about it. We've sent money when they were in a bind thinking he wouldn't spend our money on...that. But they did. 

I. Am. Full. Blown. Depressed. I'm physically ill. I'm a stinkin' mess.

My kid, my precious son who everyone liked, and they loved back, is addicted to a street drug that routinely kills men like him EVERY DAY. That's a hard thing to know.

So he is here with us, dependent for everything with us. And even though that should level the playing field, I assure you that it does not. It's more lopsided than ever.

Have you ever been on the other side of addiction? I wish I could say this isn't my first rodeo, but it is not. You'd think I would know the signs, maybe I ignored them...maybe I'm in denial. The one difference between he and I is that I've never been weak with drugs. I never understood the so-called addiction with them. But be that as it may, the elephant is in the room for the foreseeable future.

My head hurts. I cry A LOT. I am discouraged. I'm afraid for my marriage. I'm even more afraid of our immediate financial future. I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO. And then there is GOD. 

Like the song says, without Him I can do NOTHING. But this...is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know all the answers even though he's not ready to hear it or do it or even care about it. Addiction is a very selfish affliction that affects EVERYONE around them, all the time. Addiction is trying to take his life.

What I want to do is mother him. It was a hard thing to take him to a doctor and not be privy to the conversation or visit. As a mom, we take these things for granted when they're little. When they get to be full grown men, I'm just a bystander to the doctors and rehab facilities. What can I do? NOT ONE THING.

PRAY. I have to pray more. I have to trust God more. I have to consider everything differently. Because I'm a new mom again.

#WorldDownSyndromeDAY: The Pressure to Abort, Just in Case.

March 21 [321] is World Down Syndrome Day.  As 'no exceptions' prolifers, we are to love them all; the sidewalk is not segregated. We are determined to defeat the scourge of abortion and bring better awareness that all of God's children are GOD's, right on the sidewalk of abortion facilities everywhere.

FACT: 92% of diagnosed preborn Down syndrome babies are aborted.

In 1997, I was 35 years old…and surprised with pregnancy I did not expect. I was married, had two sons, my youngest was 5 years old. Since I was ‘old’ regarding child bearing, the doctors tried to prescribe an amniocentesis to check for Down syndrome and other ‘defects’. I gave a resounding NO. I was already post-abortive and knew exactly what it was like to live with it. I said that I do not want to know if something was wrong – I would be his/her mother, no matter what. Doctors are way too quick to give moms the option of abortion – just in case.

FACT: 92% of diagnosed preborn Down syndrome babies are aborted.

All WAY too often women are given the option - over and OVER again - to abort their preborn child because of an presumed affliction. People only want perfection and the path of least resistance. Few give God a chance to be God.

A famous mom of a Down syndrome child is Sarah Palin. She had the test, she and her husband prepared for their child’s arrival, not demise. Palin said she knew abortion was an option but was able to overcome the fear of the unknown to go ahead with the birth.

And then there's Noah's Dad. What he is doing for his son Noah and his family is way more than incredible! They have proven that even young women have children with an extra chromosome. And Noah's Dad has also proven that it's not just his journey but Noah's journey as well. We tend to forget that it is the child that has Down Syndrome, not the parents. It's our job AS A FAMILY to be the family he or she needs.

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them" explains that WE, not just the wanted or perfect, are HIS [Eph 2:10].....AND that EVERYONE has a plan that God has given them. Is there any affliction that God cannot overcome? NEVER.

FACT: 92% of diagnosed preborn Down syndrome babies are aborted.

Amniocentesis and diagnostic ultrasound along with many other 'tests' are there to determine if a 'therapeutic' abortion is an option, not to prepare for the child's birth. I remember all too well the look on my doctor's face when I told her no test. Ironically, SHE was pregnant, too.

Protect ALL of our unborn, remember to pray and come to the sidewalk...we need you to help save Down Syndrome....ALL of the babies. Click here to see other resources.

FACT: 92% of diagnosed preborn Down syndrome babies are aborted.